


Always You

by PoohDiaz



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Harry, Canon Compliant, Car Accidents, Depressed Harry, F/M, Futurefic, Harry-centric, Hospitals, M/M, Major Character Injury, Married Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Mpreg Harry, No Smut, OT5 Friendship, Post-Canon, Sad Ending, Sad Harry, Top Louis, Why Did I Write This?, freddie is actually larry's son, i can't write smut, styles-tomlinson, zouis bromance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10946937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoohDiaz/pseuds/PoohDiaz
Summary: "Baby, It will always be you. My sunshine, please don't ever forget how much I love you. Darling, just hold on. Be Happy. Always in My Heart.yours sincerely,Lou. x





	Always You

**Author's Note:**

> Was reading some fanfics and suddenly this idea came to me.

It is three in the bloody morning and Harry is hungry. His stomach is growling and the pregnancy hormones doesn't exactly help the situation as he starts craving cheese burgers from McDonalds. His stupid husband is fast asleep next to him snoring away in his dreams. His hair messed up and mouth slightly open, Louis sleeps deeply as peacefully as ever and Harry is so damn jealous. He is the one who is pregnant but no, Louis can sleep all he wants because he doesn't have a six month old blip inside him preventing him from tossing and turning all over the bed or has sex the way he wants to. Yes, he is sexually frustrated, alright. His bloody husband is scared to have sex the way they used to because the stupid doctor told them to be careful. Harry loves Louis, but he will not go one more night without sex. He doesn't even know how Louis refrains from fucking him to the mattress. Louis loves to put his dick inside Harry's arse. So why stopping now? Ok, he is really hungry now. "Lou" he calls his husband who is spooning him from behind. Harry can feel his deep breaths in the back of his neck now that his hair is short. Louis doesn't even stir. He just sleeps away because he doesn't have a belly the size of a barrel that needs feeding. "Louis, babe." Harry says again nudging his husband. Louis hums and hugs Harry closer to his chest burrowing his head in Harry's neck. He doesn't wake up. Now, Harry is angry. Louis has no right to sleep like this while Harry is wide awake because it is because of him that Harry is bloody pregnant. Why didn't they choose to have this kid the same way they had Freddie? Why did Harry want to have a baby grow in his belly rather than having a surrogate mother like they did with their first born. Brianna even agreed to be their surrogate again. But no. Harry really wanted to be pregnant. To be honest, he still loves being pregnant. (that is when his legs are not hurting and when he doesn't have back pains and certainly when he doesn't have weird cravings like right now.) He really wants that cheese burger, damnit! He nudges Louis again and when he doesn't get any reply from the older man, he gets pissed off his mind. "Louis William Tomlinson, if you don't wake up right now, I'm going to cut your balls off!" Harry yells hitting Louis hard on the stomach. Louis grunts but opens his eyes. "What the fuck?" He mumbled massaging his stomach where Harry hit him. "Lou" Harry whines which alerts Louis. "What's wrong,love?" He asks rubbing the pregnant man's belly gently. "I'm hungry." Harry whines again. Louis laughs and kisses Harry's belly. "Is this one giving you trouble again, baby?" He asks with so much adoration in his eyes that Harry forgets any hint of anger and annoyance that he had towards his man. This lovely man belongs to him heart and soul. And he loves Louis Tomlinson with everything in him. "Blip is hungry. So am I." Harry says and Louis laughs. It is the most melodious sound Harry has ever heard. For Harry, any sound that Louis makes, from his singing to his moans when Harry is riding him or sucking him off are the best sounds in the world. "What are you craving then, sweetheart?" Louis asks already climbing out of the bed. Really, Harry is so lucky to have a husband like Louis. He has put up with all of Harry's shit for nearly a decade now and never has he ever complained about any of it. After everything they have been through, from being members of the biggest boy band of the world to being married to each other, Louis has been his right arm. Louis has been with him right by his side through it all and Harry felt so honoured to have a husband like him. "Boo, can you bring me a cheese burger from McDonalds. I also wants a strawberry milkshake and fries and pickles." Harry says excitedly as Louis wears a pair of sweatpants over his boxers. "That's it? Zayn told me to expect pickles. You pregnant peeps love your pickles, huh?" Louis asks chuckling as he puts on a t-shirt. "Oh yes, we love pickles! That reminds me. Gigi's baby shower is coming up. We have to buy a gift for the Malik baby." Harry says when Louis leans down to kiss him on the forehead. Gigi is almost due and to say Zayn is freaking out is an understatement. "Niall said he'll drop Barbs here when I leave for work. You can go shopping with her. May be you can buy some more stuff for our blip here." "Blip isn't even born yet and you are already spoiling the baby. Plus, I want to wait till we find the gender before buying anything. So hold your horses till next week,dad. Now go! I'm starving!" Harry says pushing Louis. Louis laughs and pecks him on the lips. "I'll see you soon,then" "you better" ----------------------------------------- The first thing Harry notices when he wakes up a few hours later is the incessant ringing of his phone and the ringing of the doorbell. Then he notices that it is eight in the morning and Louis is still not back with his food. He presses the answer button and lifts his phone to his ear to give Louis a piece of his mind. "Haz" He hears Liam's voice instead. "Li, what's up?" Harry asks wondering why Liam is calling this early in the morning. "Haz, can you open the door. I'm right outside." Liam sounds panicked and worried. "Ok, sure. Give me a minute." Harry says and hangs up. It takes him way more than a minute to reach the door on his waddling legs but he knows Liam wouldn't mind. Harry opens the door to find Liam and Niall standing outside with teary eyes. "What's wrong? Have you both been crying?" Harry asks noticing his ex- bandmates' gloomy faces. "Haz, The hospital called me about an hour ago because I'm one of your emergency contacts. They said you didn't answer the phone. Haz, It's Lou." Liam breaks into tears and Harry's whole world comes to a stand still. His blood runs cold as it freezes inside his body. Something happened to his Louis. "What...what happened?" Harry asks swaying on his feet. Niall notices and quickly steadies him by wrapping his arm around the pregnant man's waist. "We don't know yet. They just said that Lou was in a car accident and that his condition is critical. Zayn is already there. We came to pick you and Freddie." Niall says but Harry only hears the words 'car accident' and 'critical condition' and he wants to weep. Liam goes to the nursery room to wake up the toddler while Niall helps Harry to put on a pair of sweats above his boxers. "I didn't tell him that i love him." Harry mumbles robotically. "What?" Niall asks as he leads Harry towards the front door. "When Louis left, I didn't tell him that I love him. What if I don't get to tell him that?" Harry says and breaks into sobs. Niall hugs the younger man and kisses his cheek. "Hey, non of that, now. He is going to be fine, ok? You can tell it to him when we see him, yeah?" Niall asks and Harry could only nod. Liam comes downstairs with a sleeping three year - old in one hand and a baby bag in the other. He gives the toddler to his daddy and together the three men climbs into Liam's car and drives towards the hospital. The first thing Harry sees when they get to the waiting room of London Bridge Hospital is Zayn sitting on one of the chairs with his head in his hands. Harry sits beside the older man. Zayn looks at his best friend's husband with teary eyes not knowing how to break the bad news to him. "Please tell me, Z." Harry begs and Zayn sighs as an involuntary tear sneaks out of his eye. "He is not doing good, Haz. The doctors say that there is nothing they can do. He is brain dead, Harry. He is... He is breathing because of machines. They want us to say our goodbyes." Zayn sobs. Harry's head starts to spin. His Louis is dying. His Louis is not going to make it. "No no no, this has to be a lie. He just went to buy a stupid burger and pickles. He is going to be fine. This must be one of his stupid pranks. The idiot must be laughing at us from somewhere. You know Louis and his sick pranks. He is playing us. That's it." Harry rambles. Zayn hugs the pregnant man as the other two men reaches to engulf them in a hug. "Oh, Harry. I wish that was true. But no, Haz... Louis is dying, Bebz" Zayn cries to his shoulder. Harry can feel Niall and Liam's tears as well. But he can't cry out. He feels numb. The love of his life is on his deathbed. His husband and the father of his kids is dying. He is brain dead. "I want to see him,Z" Harry says breaking away from the group hug. Zayn hesitates. "Harry, it doesn't look good. He is pretty messed up. I don't think-" "He is my bloody husband, Zayn! I want to see him!" Harry interferes. Zayn looks worried. So does the other two lads. "Look, I know I'm pregnant and that I'm not in a condition to handle stress. But he is my husband, guys. I just want to see my Louis. I want to hug him and make him feel better so he can come back to us." Harry says. The other three men realizes that it is already too late. They can't stop Harry from breaking his heart anymore because it is already broken, shattered into dust. Zayn sighs and nods wiping the tears from his cheeks. "Fine, let's go." He says and leads the way towards the ICU. When they reach Louis'room, Zayn stops the three other men. "Guys, I have to warn you. He doesn't look good. What I saw in there is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy." He mumbled as a fresh set of tears roll down his cheeks. How bad can it be? It's Louis. Louis always look good. Louis Tomlinson is one of the most gorgeous men in the world and that is a fact. So, it can't be that bad, right? Harry states this and hands over his sleeping son to Liam. He opens the door and enters the dimly lit room. What he sees is something he didn't expect at all because the crumpled mess that is laid beneath the white sheets connected to all the machines, wires and tubes is not his husband. He can't be. His face is broken and stiches were connecting the pieces. His fluffy caramel coloured mop of hair is gone replacing it with white gauze. Even Louis'eyes are covered with bandages. Every inch of his beautiful tan skin is covered with bruises and gauze and stitches and gashes. His Louis... His Louis looks like he went through a meat grinder. And that breaks Harry as he walks slowly to the tiny body that laid on the bed. He wants to touch his husband. But he doesn't know where to touch. That is when he realises that his Louis is not going to come back to him. His Louis is gone. He left him. "Why?" Harry whines as sobs wreck his body. "Why did you leave me? Please come back, my love. I'm sorry for not letting you sleep. I don't want anything just come back to me! Please, baby!" He yells keeping his head on his husband's chest. His tears falls down his cheeks and wets the hospital gown that Louis is wearing. The door to the room is wrenched open and two of Harry's sister-in-laws rush inside. They come to an abrupt holt when they take in the sight of their brother's mangled body and his pregnant husband crying over his dying body. "Oh My God! No!" Fizzy exclaims dropping to the floor weeping her eyes out. Lottie takes slow steps towards the bed and kneels down next to it. "Not you too. Please, Lou. DON'T LEAVE US!" Lottie yells repeatedly as sobs take over her body. Together the three of them cry for the precious sweet creature that they're going to lose hoping that their crying and begging would bring him back to them. "NO YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT! WE ARE NOT READY YET!" Zayn's yelling can be heard from outside. The door opens again and this time a doctor wearing his scrubs come inside. He is taken aback when he sees Louis' pregnant husband and his crying sisters. "Mr. Styles-Tomlinson, I'm Mr. Tomlinson's doctor. May I have a word with you?" The middle aged man asks. Harry looks at his husband again and then turns to the doctor and nods. When he goes out of the room with the doctor Zayn is there to accompany him. "I'm coming with you." He says grabbing Harry's wrist. The doctor leads them to a small office room and tells them to take a seat. He starts to speak when the two men are seated. "Mr. Styles-Tomlinson, I have briefed Mr. Malik here of Mr. Tomlinson's condition. But it is my responsibility to tell you what is exactly happening. Mr. Tomlinson is suffering from a fatal head trauma caused by blunt impact to the head among a lot of other critical injuries. I'm afraid he was brain dead even before he was brought to the hospital. We did everything we could but, we couldn't save him. The damage was too much. He is currently alive because of the ventilator that is breathing for him. Under hospital rules and regulations, we can keep Mr. Tomlinson connected to the machines for only 48 hours. Then we will have to pull the plug." The doctor says sympathetically and all Harry wants to do is to run out of this room and to wake up from this nightmare to find his Louis sleeping peacefully on their bed next to him where he belongs. But this is the reality, and his Louis is trapped in a dying body. Harry can't do anything to help his man. He can't do anything to bring the love of his live back to him. Harry nods because It is the only thing he could do. He nods and he sobs. Zayn hugs him tightly to his chest and they weep their eyes out because the man they both loved the most is leaving them. "I'm sorry, Harry. From what I've heard your husband is a wonderful man." The doctor says. "He is. He is the best." The next forty eight hours go by in a blink of an eye. Every second of it was spend on saying Good bye to Louis. Zayn hugs Louis and kisses his forehead. "I love you best friend. Thank you for being the best mate anyone could ask for. Thank you for not giving up on me when I left the band and when I hurt you by saying all those bad things to you. I'm sorry for that. The things we did will stay with me forever. I promise you, I will take care of Harry and the babies. I love you, Louis Tomlinson. Good bye best friend. God bless you." Zayn says and then he falls into Gigi's arms and they cry together. Then Liam and Niall say their good byes. The Tomlinson sisters and the Deakin twins tell their good byes next. "Good bye big brother. Say hello to mum for us will you? " Fizzy says kissing Louis' cheeks and forehead. "Thanks for being the best brother in the world." Daisy says to his brother. Then little by little they all say their good byes and vacate the room leaving Harry and Freddie behind. "Daddy, why is everybody saying bye to dad?" Freddie asks. His blue eyes that looks so much like his dad's gleaming with innocence. "Love, your dad is going to stay with your granny Jay for a little while in heaven." The little boy nods in understanding. "Good bye,dad. Say hi to granny Jay. I love you." Freddie says and kisses his father's cheek. Harry's heart aches because Louis will not get to see his son grow up. He doesn't even know the gender of their other kid. Louis is too young to die. Harry cries because this angel of a man doesn't deserve to die like this. "Freddie baby, can you stay with uncle Li for a second." Harry asks as Liam opens the door for Freddie. After they leave, he turns his attention back to his husband. "Finally alone, huh?" Harry says and imagines Louis rolling his eyes and chuckling. "Do you remember the day you proposed to me, Lou? You we're so bloody nervous and worried thinking that I'd say no. How can I say no to you, though? You had me wrapped around your little finger right from the day we met at the loo and I peed on you at X factor auditions. When I laid my eyes on you, I knew that you are the one for me. Even when you were dating Hannah. You are my sweet creature. The love of my life. You are the sun and I revolve around you. So Louis, tell me! Tell me how I'm supposed to survive without you. Tell me damnit!" Harry sobs shaking Louis' fragile body. But he gets no reply because his Louis is dying. His Louis is leaving him. "Louis, I will never forget anything that we did together. All those memories are tattooed on my heart. My sweet man, I love you so much. I going to miss you more than anything in the world. Do you remember that song I wrote for you in my first solo album? Well, I've written so many songs about you in that album. But this song means so much to me. You asked me when I had written this song all the time and i never told you. So, I'll tell you now. It was in 2013 I think. You had to go out with Eleanor again and when you came home to me you cried yourself to sleep on the couch. I carried you to bed and tucked you in. When I looked at your tear stained face, the words just rolled out of me." Then he starts to sing "Two Ghosts", the song he wrote for his Louis when he was in a dark place. "Same lips red, same eyes blue Same white shirt, couple more tattoos But it's not you and it's not me Tastes so sweet, looks so real Sounds like something that I used to feel But I can't touch what I see We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat The fridge light washes this room white Moon dances over your good side This was all we used to need Tongue-tied like we've never known Telling those stories we already told 'Cause we don't say what we really mean We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat We're not who we used to be We're not who we used to be We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me We're not who we used to be We don't see what we used to see We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat I'm just trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat " Harry sings one last song to Louis with everything he has in him. He kisses the pale chapped lips next to the transparent tube that comes out of Louis' throat. "I love you husband. Thank you for being the best husband I could ask for. Thank you for being the best father in the world. I will miss you." Harry says places one last kiss on Louis' lips before the finals seconds of the forty eight hours come to an end. Everyone comes back inside along with the doctor and a nurse. The whole room is drowning in tears as they say their final good byes to their beloved best mate,son, brother, father and husband. The nurse smiles sympathetically and switches off the machines. The sound of the ventilator dies down and the heart monitor slows down to a steady beep. "you can go my love." Harry whispers into Louis' ear as he watches his husband exhales his last breath. The doctor switches off the heart monitor and then everything is silent. \----------------------------------------- Louis is buried surrounded by thousands of moaning fans, family and friends. Fans are carrying candles and every soul that was touched by Louis' presence are there to say good bye. After the funeral, Harry is stopped by their lawyer. "Mr. Styles-Tomlinson, can I have a word?" He asks. Harry nods and tells Freddie to join his aunt Phoebe who is walking ahead of them. "What do you need to talk about, Mr. Anderson?" He asks. "First of all, I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Styles. Your husband was a phenomenal man. Mr. Styles, Mr. Tomlinson has a last will. But we can discuss about it later. But there are some things that Mr. Tomlinson wanted you to have." The lawyer says and gives Harry a wooden box, the size of a shoe box. It has a beautiful carving on the lid with H + L carved inside a heart in the middle of it. Harry wants to cry again like he had been doing constantly for the past week. "Thank you, Mr. Anderson." He says after taking a deep breath. The lawyer nods and leaves Harry to himself. Harry goes home with Freddie. The house feels empty without Louis' humongous presence. The house is too silent. The house is not a home anymore. Because home is where the heart is and Harry just buried his heart. Harry tucks his son and sings to him until the little boy falls asleep after asking why his dad is not there to read him a story. Harry has never felt so helpless in his life. How is he going to tell Freddie that his dad is not coming back? Harry sits on the bed of their guest bedroom where he has been sleeping for the last week. He just doesn't have the strength to sleep on their bed without Louis sleeping next to him. He keeps the wooden box in front of him and stares at it. The box is beautiful and looks expensive. He takes a deep breath and opens the box. Inside, there are bits and pieces of memories that mean a lot for them. He notices Louis' Leeds festival tag and Harry's heart is crushed when he retrieves it from the box. He kisses it and keeps it on the bed going for the next souvenir. They are their X Factor numbers and a photo that they had taken at judge's house sitting on the beach in Spain. They looked so small and childish. So pure and beautiful. Harry looks at Louis fondly as he runs his fingers on the photo. This is the Louis that made Harry's world upside down with just one glance from those gleaming bright blue eyes. Harry keeps the photo and the X Factor numbers next to the Leeds Festival tag. There are small chits and restaurant bills, among other small bits and pieces of their lives. But one thing catches his eyes. It's Louis' lyrics book. A black spiral note book that is filled with so many song lyrics. It is no secret that Louis is one of the best and most sought after songwriters in this time and era as each and every song that he had written for their band as well as other singers had topped charts. Inside the book, he finds the original lyric notes of '18' and 'little things' written in Ed's handwriting. The next thing he finds is their wedding invitation. With it he finds the withered white tulip that Louis wore on the lapel of his black blazer that he wore for their wedding. There are also photos of the two of them taken on their wedding day with both of their families as well as the boys and their wives and fiancées. Then he finds Freddie's ultrasound photo. A little blip in the blue photo. Harry's hand automatically reaches his pregnant stomach. Louis will not get to see his other child and he will not get to see his children grow up to be just as great as their dad and that breaks Harry's already shattered heart. Finally at the bottom of the box are three envelopes. One addressed to him, one for the boys and one for Freddie. Harry opens his envelope with shaking hands. Inside he finds a neatly folded letter. My Dear Harry, I decided to write these letters when I was updating my will after my mum passed away. Her death made me realise that I could lose everything in a moment. So if you are reading this letter, then I lost everything I love. I'm so sorry for leaving you, Haz. You have to know that it wasn't my intention at all. You will be wondering how I can say that when I'm still alive and breathing. But let me tell you, leaving you is not an option for me and it'll never be a choice for me either. You are my 'it', baby. So I'm sorry for leaving. Thank you for teaching me the value of love. When I met you I was not in a position to understand 'love'. My parents were going through their divorce and I was devastated. But you, my love, taught me how to love again and how to be loved. You showered me with your love and I feel honoured to be at the receiving end of that precious love. You always tell me that I'm the strongest guy you know, but baby, my strength relies on you. Without you, I'm nothing. You are my back bone. My everything. I know now that I'm gone, you are feeling broken and devastated; like you can't go on without me. But sunshine, you have to hold on for Freddie. He will need you. You will have to hold on for the other kids that we will have. Once again, I'm so sorry for not keeping my promise of growing old with you. Just promise me one thing. Please, don't refuse and turn away when someone else is willing to love you and take care of you. Let them in, baby. Let them love you the same way I do, even though no body can love you the way I do. You deserve all the love in the world, my sweet boy. Let people in. Let your family and the boys take care of you. Let them in. Give the other letter to the boys and give the letter addressed to Freddie when he is old enough and if I'm not there to give it to him. I love you so much, my little bee. Baby, It will always be you. My sunshine, please don't ever forget how much I love you. Darling, just hold on. Be Happy. Everything will be alright. Always in My Heart. yours sincerely, Lou. x


End file.
